August 30, 2004
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CDC
thenarrator’s ‘blog made me think about how I never had to ride the short bus, and never had to go to the special class.
I think it was mostly because I never acted out. I didn’t start fights or yell or scream, though I’d probably have felt better if I did. I always assumed that my perspective was wrong, and that there was some kind of reason why kids had to go through this bullshit thing called high school, so it was best for me to try to play along.
I was a test-taking machine. I seldom did homework, and I floated on test scores. I hated doing homework because I knew the stuff already, I didn’t think that non-school time was for school stuff, and if I told my parents about any homework I had, they’d hassle me about it. I’d end up at the kitchen table with my mom humiliating me into doing the work, and I really, really hated that.
Tests. Tests were easy. All you had to do was show up for class, be reasonably attentive, and then you’d know what was going to be on the test. So you’d take the test, break the curve, and everyone would hate you. I never felt skilled or smart or anything, just able to remember a thing or two and then write those things down on tests. What’s so freaking hard about that? Why couldn’t any of those other kids do the same thing? I sauntered through school on a passing grade. C meant ‘average,’ and I was trying to pass as average.
I never went to a ‘special’ class, but I did once end up in the dreaded CDC, or Campus Disciplinary Center. It was because I was late for three detentions in a row. I had been given three detentions for being late to class by about ten seconds. I ‘missed’ the three detentions by being about ten seconds late. And if you miss three detentions, you get CDC.
CDC was a small classroom with five desks along one wall, with partitions between the desks. They’re like cublicles, but the desks point towards the middle of the room. There aren’t any desks along the facing wall, because then there’d be something for you to look at. The teacher says, “This is CDC. You won’t speak. You’ll do work assigned by your teachers.” She hands you a packet of worksheets. “We’ll have a lunch break at 11:07. It’ll last fifteen minutes. Then we’ll come back here and you’ll all sit without speaking until the day is over.”
The whole of school was bullshit like that. However, once I had been to CDC and survived, I knew I didn’t need to care any more. Not long after, I dropped out the first time.
And after I dropped out, the whole structure of my life came apart. It turned out I needed high school as much as I hated it; I fell into the kind of depression that usually accompanies the death of a spouse.
And that, my friends, is irony.
Comments (3)
Amazing to hear the stories of others. Thanks for sharing it. I think, and I’ll need to post this on my site at some point too, that cops make awful soldiers and soldiers make awful cops, and these two professions are confused by ignorant (or evil) people (including some cops), which leads to disaster.
Soldiers need to be feared. Cops (in a free society) need to be trusted. It is essential that police are seen as trustable by just about every segment of the community (or information does not flow), when cops act as soldiers (as in suppressing people’s civil right to demonstrate) they lose touch with their community and their efficiency as police officers crashes for years to come (see Chicago 1968-1975 or LA for the past forty years). When soldiers try to act like cops (Baghdad or Gaza) they have to choose between being totally vulnerable or totally brutal, and the result remains a war zone that cannot possibly convert to civil society.
Good cops are not good soldiers. Good soldiers are rarely good cops. Police functions belong with the police. Attacks on people are the function of the military.
Wow.
It’s impressive, the depth that comes out of your fingertips.
~StarGzr
God, I hated high school. Hated it with all my soul.