March 17, 2003
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High coincidence quotient of late. This is coupled with radically changing sleep patterns. O how the mind loves a pattern…
Woke up at 6:30 having gone to bed at 2. I was dreaming a recurring dream where I’m at this sort of abandoned gas station in the desert, only it’s not really abandoned (I’m there), and the desert is really only defined by steep sand dunes which surround the parking lot. If I could ever get over the dunes, I’d find the rest of the world.
These symbols make sense, but, as always, there are the few extra surreal (one might say ‘dream-like’) items in there. The most disturbing of these was the one that woke me up: A bird-like bicycle that hovers, not unlike a vulture.
I’m in a seriously sleep-dep frame of mind, and I’m at the library typing away. I’m thinking about how seriously I should take my worries that the people here would disapprove of my current mental state. The worry is real enough, but my attitude is constantly shifting.
Over the past week or so, my sleep schedule has changed to be exactly opposite of the daily cycle. The worst part isn’t that this occurred; I have no schedule so it doesn’t really matter except that it’s hard to get somewhere before 5pm when you just woke up. The worst part is that I ended up with this schedule because I like to watch the two daily re-runs of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine that come on at 10 and 11. And then I’m on the couch, so I watch TV until 4am, simultaneously hating the TV industry for it’s infomercials which corrall me into watching the umpteenth re-run of that Dinah Shore retro-mentary (is this truly why we’re supposed to have PBS?), and loving and cherishing the precious hypnogogic state my mind seems to crave.
I wish I could say I was up obsessing over some work of art or a programming project, or something halfway interesting. I’m trying not to be hard on myself, though, because it takes my mind forever to get used to a new living situation. I become more hermit than once was thought possible while the adjustment happens.
Comments (4)
Well you can’t be a true to the hermit-lifestyle cause you are in a library. But then again I think that is part of the hermit-credo!
Yeah, I have that high-coincidence quotient thing sometimes too. It seems quite independent of my own actions, but seems to coincide with specific frames of mind I’m in.
You’re probably right about the pattern thing.
My patterns are currently all fucked up, due to many factors, as well.
AND… I will be moving again this week, as well. Just one more thing to tip the scales. And NOT in my favor…
We really need to go out and have that beer…
reminds me of summer in albuquerque.
because getting up before 4 was ridiculous unless you had to show up for a court hearing or something.
eh.
easy to numb the mind with stimulus. at least, that’s what i’m doing when i get into a state like you’re describing…
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