July 31, 2002
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Went to the doc today, the sooper-spiff psychologist who’s the rock-star specialist in Asperger’s syndrome. He says my self-diagnosis makes sense. I’m going to take a battery of tests to find out for sure.
He also says that, given a positive diagnosis, I’m probably way, way up at the very top percentile of the functional spectrum of Asperger’s. This is a mixed blessing… He kept using the example of Rain Man, and made a poignant comment that echoed some things I’ve written here. Essentially, the idea is that Rain Man’s not in any pain, since he doesn’t know what he’s missing. I do know where my dysfunctions live, so they’re painful for me.
I’m guardedly hopeful, however. I don’t want to say I’m around a corner, but not because there’s no corner and I’m not around it; I don’t want to say that because it’s just so cliche.
Comments (7)
Best of luck to you. I know quite a bit about Asperger’s (a lot about most mental issues as it turns out), so I know that it can be challenging. However, the little that I know about you and the fact that you have really amazing friends leads me to believe that you’re more than the challenge presents you.
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned the hard way that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories dont have a clear begining middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the most of it without knowing what’s going to happen next.”
- Gilda Radner
i’m off to see the doc for my anxiety attacks tomorrow. self-diagnosed. i could be wrong. i wish life were as simple as a cliche sometimes. good luck with your doc.
Yay!
Call me tomorrow, if’n you pleeze.
Me.
I love that you can be so open about the possibility of having Asperger’s Syndrome. So many people would hide that away like it was something to be ashamed of. As the parent of a child with full blown Autism, I often find myself wonder which would be worse….knowing you are different or not knowing you are different. Thank you for your insight. Maybe I can learn more about my son by reading your take on the matter.
MarahBlay
my cousin is autistic and from my experience with him, i agree that your situation is more painful, at least mentally/emotionally. it’s hard to say for sure what really goes on in my cousin’s head, but from an outsider standpoint he seems pretty contented with revelling in his collection of vacuums. =O)
*hope* cause that’s the way onwards and upwards! go go go!
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