January 14, 2002
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Today’s blog is about resentment. I’m resented by someone who can’t admit it to themselves that they resent me.
I have to admit, it’s hard to see it in oneself. It’s something we’re taught not to acknowledge… Nice people don’t harbor resentments, and we want to be nice, don’t we?
Anyway, resentment does at least two things that I can see:
1) Denies the humanity of the other, by reducing them to the thing which is resented. As in, “What a freakin’ loser.” This phrase takes all the humanity and beauty and complexity away from the subject, and assigns a single label – ‘Loser.’ In the mind of whoever’s doing the resenting, there’s no other person besides the role assigned, and thus no room for solution. And that’s number two…
2) Leaves little room for unexpected outcomes. Which is to say that a person who is resentful wants something specific from that other person.
So the trick, I think, is to find out what the resentful person wants, and then somehow give it (or something like it) to them in a way that doesn’t deny one’s own humanity.
I wish it were that simple.
Comments (10)
Egads if you where to do that? You might possibly end up doing ONLY that.
No instead I think you should concentrate on being the best person you can and hope others do the same.
Or something to that affect hey man I’m commenting with no coffee here. LOL
I think that only weak people resent and refuse to admit it. seriously, people shouldn’t be so uptight about other people. If they think you are a “loser” why then do they bother to resent? wasting energy, sanity, and aloofness? *sigh* -(people??) beats me, but anyway,
AmeriCorps (or whatever the spelling was)
I didn’t know(but now I do) Thanks.
Resentment isn’t a very productive thing, but I think it’s wrong to suggest that nice people don’t suffer from it.
For instance, how many people do you think resent Bin Laden? Especially those who had family or friends killed on September 11th. I’m sure a lot of them are nice people, and they have a damn good reason to be resentful as far as I’m concerned.
You had to know there’d be emotional fallout from George when you revealed his oil pipeline plans!!
I wish a lot of things were that simple.
Just be yourself… if they resent THAT, then fuck ‘em.
I think resentment is insatiable.
resentment….hmmmm I think zoodom is right…if you where to do that? You might possibly end up doing ONLY that just hold on to what you know is true, loving and right and if the other person doesnt like it.. well its really too bad.
You know, and I would resent you, too, if you’d clocked me in the cheek the way you clocked Gee Dubya!
many times the resentful person really wants to be you.
bootilicious.
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