September 11, 2001
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Homer Speaks
Navel gazing: “It’s your navel! Get over it!”
Your mantra: “Tom Robbins says there are two universal mantras which bring about enlightenment. They are ‘Yuck!’ and ‘Yum!’ Say them with me now: YUCK! YUM! Very good.”
Cell phones: “We are the dentrites. Telecommunication technology bridge the synapses. Cell phones are BAD NEUROTRANSMITTERS.”
Meaning: “Mathematicians have given us a model called a ‘strange attractor.’ The strange attractor, if I’m geting this right, is said to be a part of the equation which produces a recognizable, if still chaotic, pattern in the result. I think mathematicians have got it all wrong; the strange attractor isn’t in the numbers, it’s in the mind of whoever’s describing those numbers. Saying there are such things as ‘strange attractors’ is like saying ‘God has a plan for me, or he wouldn’t be putting me through all this bullshit.’”
Futons: “Futons rule.”
Wine: “Wine rules.”
The Internet: “The Victorians could send messages around the world in four hours over the telegraph. It takes my computer that long to boot up. What’s the big deal?”
Comments (1)
Just for a start: It’s NOT my navel, it’s somebody else’s.
Futons = discomfort. Bed = bed.
Wine. Beer. No competition. Beer could kick wine’s ass and give it chinese burns. Beer rules.
Is it time to be ex-communicated from the Cult of Homer?
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