September 7, 2001

• First Order Of Magnitude. Er, I mean, First Order Of Business. Er, I mean, First Degree Of The Order. Er, I mean WE START
  
  You must always remember that there are multitudes within you: There’s Social You, the one that expects a civil greeting. There’s Primate You, who evaluates self-worth according to the type of civil greeting you get. There’s Physical You, who wonders if you can get into my pants. There’s Emotional You, who might want some kind of fulfillment from me. There’s Mental You, who wonders what mischief I’m up to. And least but not last, there’s Spirit You, who already knows all this, and who I don’t really need to greet, but I will anyway, so that it’ll help you not go out and join any cults, least of all the Cult Of Homer.
  
  Now, in the Cult Of Homer, we have a way of acknowledging the multitude within each other, and giving voice to the multitude within ourselves as part of doing so. And that way is the Most Holy Way, and there is no other way. Here’s how to do it:
  
  Look at the other person. Make eye contact. Smile a genuine smile. Nod slightly. Utter the Holy Word: “Howdy.” Assume that all that is you has acknowledged all that is the other person. Assume that the boundary between yourself and the other has vanished, even if you can’t see that it has, or even if you can’t understand what the hell I’m talking about. You may now proceed to be a human being.
  
  So. With that in mind:
  
  Howdy.
  
  
  
  

  • 2:41 am
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