September 23, 2006
-
environmental news item headlines you didn't hear about.
I'm making these up, but please feel free to report them as if they actually happened.
'New Urbanism' activists carpet roads with Astroturf.
Advertisers seed clouds with branded precipitant; raindrops now billboards.
'Green design' building's grass roof becomes home to bower bird; roof lawn can't be maintained due to laws protecting endangered bird habitat.
Tidal generators absorb too much energy, ruin shipping lane currents.
Biodiesel a success; OPEC nations apply for IMF loans.
Geologists learn to control plate tectonics; global warming sea level change no longer a problem.
Terrorist plot thwarted. Plot to take over 11 airplanes, dump all fuel simultaneously, releasing hydrocarbons raising level of greenhouse gasses and speeding global warming. New carbon emissions limit imposed by DHS. Bush: "We must be in line with Kyoto in a week, or the terrorists have won."
Wall Street rallies behind sustainable energy and production initiatives by various Fortune 500 companies; Amory Lovins files for unemployment benefits.
Semicolons; rule.
Comments (4)
HAHAHAHA!!
semicolons & the environment? Hmmm...
I had an advertising idea that used ablative micrometeors that would change color as they burned down; with a precisely timed release, you could blanket the night sky with an animated image.
Aww. Little advertisements could coat my lawn every time it rained.
Comments are closed.