March 27, 2005

• This story is based on a rather surreal set of suggestions. I couldn't include all of them and keep the narrative I came up with, but much of it's there.

  If I do any more research for this, I'll end up writing a novel, and that's not the exercise. Eugene Atget was a real person. I might add more to this later, but it'll take real work as opposed to the seat of the pantsleg thing I've got here. And you might have to pay to read it.

  ----------

  The actors on stage struggled against their costume. They struggled against each other; their characters were trying to kill each other. They struggled against a drunken audience who wanted to see dancing girls. Who had come up with this story?

  The costume was an oversized pair of vaguely Chinese-looking pants. The rest was normal vaguely Chinese-looking costumage, but since they were supposed to be Siamese twins, they shared a mutual waistline.

  In the left leg, no one of interest. In the right leg, Monsieur Jean Eugene Auguste Atget, portraying Chang, the homicidal maniac opposite his Siamese twin brother, Chin, the moral anchor of the pair. The author of this terrible play was insistent that Siamese meant Siamese.

  The Moulin Rouge crowd booed and hissed. This tiny, ugly play had been let on stage for two reasons: One, it featured Chinamen luridly threatening semi-nude women in their bathing rooms, but it was neither playful nor sexy. Neither was it suspenseful or even interesting. Two, it was early, and no one was in the place anyway.

  Chang held aloft his butcher's knife! He waved it menacingly at the woman, who dutifully screamed and covered her private parts. Nevertheless, she managed to let slip a few articles of clothing. Her terrified scream turned to a coy embarrassment as she gave the audience a look. Chang waved his knife again! Terror and a scream!

  Stuff like that. The audience began throwing things. The play was hurried off stage before it could finish. The ending was a predictable morality play: Chin grabs the knife, kills Chang, and in the process kills himself, for he shares a heart with Chang. The woman holds Chin's face to her breast and, as he dies, says, "My hero!" But no one saw it because no one cared.

  Later.

  Eugene Atget approached the bar, hat brim low on his forehead to avoid recognition. He ordered a beer. and noticed that the man next to him was sketching. He was sketching Chang and Chin.

  Eugene let out a sigh. "I will need to get out of acting if you continue to put my face on that character."

  The man looked up and smiled a wide grin which was aided by alcohol. "You were... Chang!"

  "I am impressed you recall the character's name."

  "The piece is titled 'Chin And Chang Get Arrested.'" The man held up the sketchpad, revealing the title along the bottom, previously covered by his arm.

  Eugene hadn't drunk enough to laugh, but he tried.

  • 3:33 am
  • 6 Comments