January 14, 2005

  • So I'm still in that motel in Hays, KS, and this is what just happened:

    A guy walked in to the room next to mine, obviously drunk. Our two rooms are suite rooms, meaning there's a door between them. The door is locked, but it still transmits sound as easily as if it were open.

    He says to someone: "We could order pizza..." A barely-audible "No..." and some more, something about it being too late, or whatever.

    Some minutes passed, and now they're having sex. Either it's sex, or snoring that sounds like sex. I really can't tell which. If it's snoring, then it's the most unique snoring ever. And if it's coital moaning, it's the most pathetic sound I've ever heard anyone make during that particular human endeavor.

    It reminds me of when I lived in a shared house and one of the housemates would always bring her boyfriend home at 3am and start having sex. I don't have a problem with sex or even sex at 3am, but when it's happening three feet from my head, separated only by a wall, and I'm trying to sleep, it's more than a little frustrating. Add to that the fact that this was the loudest, most intense sex you can imagine. It's not hyperbole to say that the bed, normally in the center of the room, would end up banging against the wall next to me, having walked there itself. And the yelling and screaming... It was like a parody of loud sex. It's like it was intended to bring attention to the fact that it was loud, by being louder than any loud sex should be.

    Anyway. I've determined now that my neighbor here in the motel is snoring. I suppose it's possible that the moaning could turn into snoring without skipping a beat, but that'd be too sad to even consider seriously.

    Update: They ordered the pizza and then went to sleep. The pizza guy is knocking on their door. Har! I'm impressed that the tiny town of Hays has pizza service at this hour.

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