August 24, 2004

• Pause

  If you could stop time, or at least slow it way, way down, and directed your attention toward some giant boulder somewhere that's been drilled and packed with dynamite, dialing in on the exact moment of the detonation...

  Step forward like the single-frame advance on your DVD player, the instant of the initial shudder as a result of the blast, the beginning of the powder and flame coming out of the holes, the first hint of vaporized granite pulled into the atmosphere like water vapor...

  You know the story about what's to come. The boulder will split apart, crashing to the ground in a pile of rubble. But right now, paused as it is on the timeline, that boulder knows nothing about the energy that's just starting to move through it.

  I just tried watching some TV. I couldn't muster anything but contempt for those people trying to sell me things, those people trying to entertain me. "There was a mouth on the TV, and the mouth was saying to me..." (So say the Android Sisters.)

  Earlier today I was listening to Bjork's Vespertine CD, considering how long ago I bought it. Listening to it made me think it was still new, as though it had been released yesterday. It reminded me of being ahead of the curve about Sigur Ros, also from Iceland. That seems like yesterday also, but was four years ago.

  I'm looking at my camera, in a box, on the desk. I have to take it to the post office and mail it to Olympus so they can fix it. I've been needing to do this for two weeks. There's a pile of things like this, things that need to get done but don't for some reason. And then, for some reason, I have to feel like crap about them before I can get over the threshhold. I have to find a financial advisor, I have to take the car for maintenance... I've needed to do these things for months.

  I'm the exploding boulder, on eternal pause.

  • 4:17 am
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