November 22, 2003
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I've 'blogged about my 100-year-old grandmother. She died today.
Her heart gave up, and she became unconscious, and then some hours later she was gone.
There's a Buddhist mantra, 'Gate, gate, paragate, parasamgate, bodhi svaha.' It means: Gone, gone, gone away, away beyond gone, enlightenment, amen. I'm thinking about it because it reminds me that the difference between an alive me and a grandmother who has passed isn't that great. And that's reassuring, somehow.
Although she was always bright and clever, her mind had deteriorated to the point where she was easily confused and over-stimulated. She had difficulty remembering who was who, and where she was, and that sort of thing. Her life hadn't been her own for quite a few years; she lived in a retirement home with a live-in nurse. This is to say that it's something of a relief that she's moved on, along to the next adventure, because it was difficult to see her getting much more out of this one.
Now comes the expensive last-minute plane ticket to Nashville, the unfortunate circumstance under which to see friends and relatives, the funeral in November weather. A somber visit to Echo Lodge to report the death in the visitor log there.
I feel like I've already said my goodbyes, but while my dad and his brothers will say they've been expecting it, they'll be torn up, and that'll be the hard part for me. Death is easy; grieving is not.
Comments (7)
Sorry to hear that. You must still miss her.
Huggs to you dear one...she is in your heart always...Sassy
My condolances.
African proverb- "When a man dies, a whole library is burned."
Aw, man. Even though it's "expected", it does NOT stop from hurting.
(My great-grandmother died a couple of years ago, WAY past her prime, and still it was horribly tragic for me.) I am glad, however, that you've known her as long as you have. I know many people who never knew much about their grandparents. Mainly because a lot of folks don't hardly make it HALFWAY to 100! 
She was a strong one, I bet! 
I wish your family a good visit with each other, regardless of the sad circumstances, and that you feel comforted all being together somehow.
((((((((Paul))))))))
Yes, she has moved on to the next adventure. Memories are the greatest comfort to grief. Share them together and often. (((HUGS)))
i like that mantra. reminds me of what i was saying to myself at grandpa's funeral.
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