September 12, 2003
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Sitting here feeling kind of devastated. A curious blend of dizzy, headachey, morose, spiteful, and buzzed.
Just watched the late-night re-run of the World Trade Center episode of Ken Burns' 'New York' series. I watched every episode of that series when it was originally aired, and this episode was produced and released as an addendum this year.
Astonishing footage of astonishing things.
I've been in a funk all day, the two year anniversary of 9/11. The right-wing talk radio assholes have been prompting their braindead listeners to accuse 'liberals' of having forgotten 9/11. I knew that the GOP presidential convention, a wasteful piece of political theater if ever there was, was going to be held in New York in order to use Ground Zero as a backdrop, but today I learned that there will be a cornerstone ceremony at Ground Zero hosted by the GOP, and that construction there is being scheduled to coincide with the convention. Talk about tasteless.
The dramatic loss of life on 9/11 is being used as political currency, instead of moral currency. It's always been thus among the self-righteous; they presume to speak for the dead, and for what the dead would have wanted. Bill O'Reilly springs to mind.
But. I'm unable to reconcile any of it. I still can't reconcile the act itself with anything, which doesn't trouble me because no one should be able to reconcile it. I can't reconcile how in two years we've moved from heartfelt sympathy from around the world to rejecting the UN so as to invade Iraq for no real reason besides bloodlust and a desire to test our capacity to do such things in the world. I can't reconcile that it took two years to get the official report on 9/11, and that they wanted Henry Fucking Kissinger to write it. I can't reconcile that so much opportunity has been wasted and squandered, that the country is led by such bellicose fools.
I don't know if any of you have seen it, but there's a video out there on the 'net, showing President Bush's reaction to the news that the World Trade Center towers had been hit by airplanes. He was at a school, conducting a photo-op. He was reading a picture book with a group of elementary school kids.
An aide tells him what has happened, and he sits there for some time, with a blank look on his face. He recovers enough to go on reading the book with the kids. Soon the photo-op ends, and he can go off somewhere and read a statement.
It's the image of a man terrified. Petrified. An honest moment. This was our President being honest with us. Honesty isn't something you say, necessarily, it's how you conduct yourself. The deer-caught-in-the-headlights look was not unique; many people all around the world had that same experience. They froze, unknowing. What should they do next? What is one supposed to do when one hears of such news? If more people had seen this footage, they might have said, 'Yeah, I felt the same way.'
All around the world, people were slogging through their grief and lighting candles and laying flowers at the gates to US embassies. And even then, even at the tenderest moment the history of the world has known, the moment in all of history most pregnant with possibility for change and maturity, the language from our leadership said that you're with us or you are our enemy. That you'll either do what we say or we'll kick your ass. That moment of petrified honesty was replaced by a high schooler defending his girlfriend or something.
And I couldn't reconcile that. I still cant. I've tried. I tried believing it wouldn't ultimately matter. I tried believing that someone smart, someone with a soul would slap some sense into that moral midget. On and on I tried. Still no reconciliation. George W. Bush, President of the United States Of America, had told the world that it was OK to hate us.
And I'm sitting here, at almost four in the morning, having been unable to sleep because this is the anniversary of a horrible event. And all I can think about is how much was wasted. Wasted lives, resources, good will. Wasted leadership. Wasted words. An absolute lack of wisdom. None to be found. Just a big world-wide gang war. No one trying to do anything but hurt back where they've been hurt.
It's all just sickening.
Comments (10)
Sickening is right.
I would not watch any of it. The same thing happened here in Oklahoma City. The "victim mentality" spilling into patriotic revenge fervor.
Sickening.
And the GOP should be ashamed. But they are not.
Krugman wrote something similar to this in today's NYTimes, well at least the first part.
Here's the Krugman article mentioned above.
Sadness. So much sadness.
If there was a silver lining in the attacks on the WTC it was that it really could have unified much of the world. People who didn't like us were with us in sympathy, and yes, Bush turned that around and made it much worse than before.
It's true; as a Belgian citizen I've never had such a low opinion of the US government.
Such moronic lust for power and economical world domination. It's insane.
Wake up, people of America; it's high time! Vote those idiots out of office.
Profound. It´s a tragedy to have missed the Global opportunity for international healing. It is obvious that it has affected us all forever.
Fuckin´GW. I say we go get ím and give ím a wedgie.
Vers le bas avec le capitalisme.
Like you I was awake too damn late in the night on the anniversary of 9/11 pondering what has become of so many things in this world. I liked your entry, very profound, and very in-tune with what most Americans feel.
....and a dark cloud fell upon the land.... the people fed upon their fear and found it good.
......i saw all this crap coming when i watched the towers fall.....
he's a small man where we needed a great one.
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