April 25, 2003

  • Comedy:

    This ‘blog, and President Bush’s ‘blog.

    And: Dick Cheney’s ‘blog, which contains brilliant entries like this:

    This has been my paradigm for communication with the POTUS: to convey the chief warmaking insights of the Norman Conquest through a metaphor more accessible to his elemental gestalt.

    “Friday Night at Hodge’s Cafe”

    He thinks he read it as a child.

    So it serves well, working — as it does — on a number of levels.

    It has to.

    Pardon my French, but I’m up to my freakin’ aorta with The Very Hungry Caterpillar. It just can’t illuminate everything. I’ve lost three analysts on that very problem.

    Bellevue Time.

    So.

    For our purposes, Hodge’s Cafe IS the Norman Conquest.

    NOT the Crusades. Repeat: NOT the Crusades.

    I should meme that every day.

    I’ve been reminding the POTUS. “Sometimes he throws ice cream on the floor just to watch it ‘smoosh.’?

    Smoosh!!! he’ll say. Smooooooossssssshhhh!

    Focus on the duck, I tell him.

    I like the duck, he says. The duck is crazy.

    Stay with the duck. Imagine the consequences for the duck.

    It doesn’t make sense, of course, but it engages the POTUS. Better than a sock toy. More depth. Like catnip in the Nyquil bong.

    Smooth but…. stimulating.

    The POTUS is simple, not stupid. (We’ll meme that again.)

    The duck, I say. Focus. Focus on the duck.

    It?s working. Between hits on the Nyquil bong, he has already signed most of the vital documents.

    We are growing more robust every minute.