46

My parents have been married for 46 years. (That’s two 23s, by the way). They were making it work before I was born, and before many of you were born, either. It’s not their anniversary or anything, but it’s Valentine’s day, and I talked to them on the phone earlier today, and I could use a happy story at the moment, so it will be theirs.

They’re, like, really in love. I don’t recall a definitive moment of understanding this, except maybe when my brother got married, and seeing them at that wedding. Well, it was long before that, but it was a slow dawning on my part. I had to deprogram myself in order to see it. All those bullshit stories you’re taught as a Texas male, and my deep, deep cynicism, which served to buffer me from those bullshit stories… All that had to get out of the way.

Anyway. They told me the tale of this Valentine’s morning. Due to various logistical requirements about which the less said the better, they sleep in seperate rooms. Dad wakes earlier, because that’s just what he does, and he goes off to work. Mom wakes later, not being so enthusiastic about the beginning of the day.

Today dad woke to find a trail of chocolate kisses in pink and silver. Where did they lead? Out of the bedroom, down the hall, into the kitchen, and to the coffee pot. What I love about this is that it’s where he was going anyway, but on this day it’s not just the ordinary path toward a morning buzz (already a happy thing), it’s the ordinary path toward a morning buzz decorated by consideration and forethought. It’s them just doing their thing, and that thing is special, even as it’s ordinary.

A while later, mom wakes. Dad’s already gone off to work. She goes to get some coffee, from the pot he always leaves for her before heading out. Guess what he’s spelled out with the chocolate kisses? Here’s a hint.. It’s three words, none longer than four letters.

Sometimes I regret having downloaded all those Roy Orbison songs. I mean, it’s Valentine’s day, and shuffle play brings me ‘Only The Lonely.’ Only the lonely know why I cry, maaaaan…

Anyway. The real reason for this ‘blog is that I begged the moon for forgiveness, as per larson’s instruction, and I think the moon’s reserving judgement just for now. She wants to forgive me, but… Gabe Kaplan!? And who can blame her?

I remember being in 4th grade, and the teacher made each student bring in a package of valentines greetings for valentine’s day. The package of 30.

We spent a full quarter of valentine’s day making a valentine for every other student in the class, checking off the names from a list we were given. Then, towards the end of the day, we all had to give the valentine greetings to each other personally, while eating cake and drinking punch.

And I totally did not understand. What was the meaning of this social ritual? Was I supposed to be in love with all the kids in this class? Even the boys? If I didn’t mean what the valentines said, why should I have to give them? All sincerity was pushed aside. I remember getting a specially-made valentine from one girl, and it had those little candy hearts inside, and she had gone to lengths to make it just right. In retrospect it was all very meaningful to her. But at the time, how could I take it seriously? We’re talking 4th grade here.

I’ve been good lately, really, I have, but since about 11pm, I’ve watched a bunch of talk shows, a movie on tape (‘Harold And Maude,’ because I chose at random), and a movie on broadcast (‘Fast Break,’ the Gabe Kaplan vehicle from 1979).

Now it’s 5am and I feel I must make some form of atonement for the obvious crime against humanity such a long period of TV watching represents.

Your suggestions appreciated.

Oh, and Scientific American makes a strong argument for the reality of television addiction. This is the only way to explain how I made it through ‘Fast Break.’

Twenty-Three Wishes

1. More Wishes.




2. Current model VW Eurovan Westfalia camper




3. A cure for MS (obviously these are in no particular order, and no, I don’t have it)




4. A cure for… Well, I almost said a cure for Kallmann’s syndrome, but ya know what? FUCK IT. These genes will die with me.




5. The Death Of Cynicism.




6. The Rebirth Of Reason.




7. The End Of Loneliness.




8. The Neverend Of Inspiration.




9. Enough money in savings to live off interest, forever




10. Community based on something other than lack




11. Self-discipline




12. Someone to play with in the dirt




13. Simultaneous explosion of everyone’s crown chakra, everywhere. ZAP!




14. Being around to help people figure out what just happened.




15. To touch you




16. To get Tom Waits, Don Van Vliet, Ken Nordine, and Joe Frank stoned in the same recording studio. (“Hear ‘em argue, and rage, at the final page…”)




17. To figure out who the female equivalents of those guys are. Sure, we’ve got Laurie Anderson, but who else? Does little Laurie have to wear the burden by herself?




18. To call Dannika and see if she’s written anything lately.




19. A digital camera that costs more than a thousand dollars.




20. A digital video camera that costs more than three thousand dollars.




21. A piece of string between two rusty soup cans to talk to you.




22. A week in a tree.




23. Enough guts to go ahead and actually be schizophrenic.

Very Much A Geek Blog

Some folks have set up a streaming audio server of a computerized voice reading the entire source code for the Linux kernel. This stream is being broadcast by a few AM, FM and shortwave transmitters.

http://radioqualia.va.com.au/freeradiolinux/

Not Really A Mac Geek Blog

A few weeks ago, I had a reason for being excited about the imminent release of OmniWeb 4.1. I only use IE when web sites won’t let me use my browser of choice (thankfully Xanga isn’t one of those, though it could be better. Maybe I’ll blog about that, too).

Today I went to OmniGroup‘s web site, and lo and behold there’s a 4.1 public beta available. Cool!

Now, if only I could remember why I was looking forward to it…

This isn’t a rip on the 4.1 version, it’s just that, sometimes, things escape the brainpan in odd ways. Like, I know I need something else from the browser, but I can’t remember what. Or, I know you lost your left pinkie toe in the Gulf War, because you told me, but I can’t remember your name. Stuff like that.

Yes indeedy, I’m glad to be able to turn off my Xangalympics module.

And while we’re on a roll… Let’s move from ASP over to PHP, ‘kay?

I paid for Premium. I did so because Xanga needs the bux to survive. I did it with the understanding that my ‘blog wouldn’t be used to advertise companies I have no control over. I thought that understanding included Xanga.

I paid for Premium! Why does Xanga ask me to pay for Premium? Why am I a member of the Xangola blogring, a ring I never consented to join? Why have I been enrolled in a game I have no intention of playing (fairly), and which implies that I have some kind of desire to be an Amway salesperson for Xanga?

Am I doing business with a service provider, or am I giving some money to some folks who are doing something cool? Are those two exclusive notions?

Have our Xanga benefactors never heard the term ‘opt-in?’

RTFM