February 7, 2002

  • Sometimes I tire of being me. I think: Why can’t I just redesign everything right now, so that it’ll all work better?

    Like walking through my grid-like semi-suburban neighborhood. The place I want to go is diagonal from here, according to the grid. Short of cutting through people’s houses (and the solid walls inside), I’m going to have to zig-zag, or tack, or figure out a place to go that’s less annoying to get to.

    Those houses and that grid exist for a reason, but the question is: Is that reason good enough for me? Should I curse those reasons? They’re probably not any better or worse than my reasons for wanting to go diagonal.

    Part of me says: It’s an opportunity to go a different way each time. Like, if I want go to the bank, there’s a variety of ways to get there. Should I resent my need to go to the bank instead?

    So it is with me. I can see things in my life that are stupid and meaningless, and I should jettison them. But getting from here to there requires zigging and zagging and tacking, because of other parts of my life that are stupid and meaningless. It becomes a question of scale… What’s more stupid and meaningless, the thing I’m trying to get rid of, or the thing standing between me and getting rid of it?

    And I tire of this game. You would, too. Maybe the game is the most stupid and meaningless thing of all. Hah.

Comments (6)

  • Feng Shui…that’s why square.  Maximizes good chi, or something.  Square is good…but I see your point.

    I get you on the stupid scale thang.  It’s as though the whole world is operating on auto-pilot because conscious living is SO hard, and it is.

    Being able to SEE the game…is it a curse or boon?

  • Ooooh

    Ignorance is bliss. I guar’ntee

    dolphins are happier creatures.  no grids.

    V~
    from t’other blog

  • I spend my life trying to be efficient and streamlined. I spend so much time trying to do this, that I am hugely inefficient and as bloated as a 4 day old corpse. I don’t know the answer.

  • Redesign one’s self to be more fluid?

  • Hmm… Sounds like seattle winter.  

    I say get rid of the houses, streets, banks and keep the bicycle.

  • My streets and houses are people and school, future plans, parents, and the aim for success and respect.  Sometimes I get sick of weaving, and think I should just become a bum.

    oh well

    andro

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